In this new post from Greg Beaver, he gives his take on the "my language is better than your language" discussions that seem to constantly be going around.
At this point the audience laughs at both of them.
In case you're wondering what this has to do with PHP, let's take a look at what is really going on. Two characters are busy comparing weapons that look rather phallic, but are completely unaware of the ludicrous nature of their struggle.
All of you spending free time speculating about whether PHP is better or worse than Perl/Ruby/Java/Scheme/punch cards need to remember a key scene in the 1987 movie "Spaceballs". At a certain point, the main characters Dark Helmet and Lone Star face off with their "Schwartz" rings, emitting a large beam from their midsection. There follows a moment of silence, and Dark Helmet very seriously says: "I see your Schwartz is as big as mine."
He goes on to outline what he thinks makes a good solution - basically, whatever works for your situation (takes less time to implement/maintain, easy to refactor/document).
The constant search for the "perfect" language will only waste your time. The only useful debate is discussing a specific problem and how to solve it. Period.