I decided the best easiest route is to access the internal DBus API, however the forums and other resources on the Mumbles site'¦ well... just plain suck. And by suck I mean tell you that something exists and'¦ thaaats about it.
What he did find, thanks to Google, was a tool called D-Feet to help with debugging and a DBus extension for PHP that could add the needed support into his PHP installation. Following a bit of hacking and lots of testing, he was mostly successful. The only side effect is an Exception where the extension cannot correctly catch the Notify signal.